"Conscious"
As I drag my feet in denile
As I close my eyes supressing every torrential wave
As I locked my doors so I could hide behind a smile
Time went on in that same way.
As I dragged my feet,
never stretched my legs,
darkness and shadows and clouds creeped in
a film, a gunk of constant turbulant woe
a storm began to brew in the coffee pot of my head
thoughts in a cyclon, sounds in a spin
till I couldn't hear myself
or maybe wouldn't listen
day after day it rained and it poured
week after week waves battered my shores
never a rest from my conscience
drivin relentless trying to get in a word
playing like a broken record
singing like a mocking bird
It's not easy to know what's right
and ignor yourself.
As if there were two me's
in a constant battle
as I tried to please someone else more than my other self
i became divided, broken, shattered
using others as an excuse
we waged war
fighting with myself left me bruised and soar
grenades expode, bombs flash with tears
It took so long for the smoke to clear
I won't mention my battle
Till I let my self hear
It became to much to bare
daily agony of silence
never ending by itself
never letting up or tiring
there is a warrior in me
but I'm the one she keeps in check
She'll wreck me and doesn't care
Learn to trust that conscience knows best
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